Poop Train

I have lots of things I could be writing about. However, I think I will just keep the poop train going because it just seems right. 

Being in the trenches can get real bad sometimes.  Every time I talk myself down and pat myself on the back for being an excellent mom, it all blows up on me (pun intended).  Third child, third try at potty training.  The last two times went less than stellar for me.  Pru handled #1 by just tossing her on the toilet and enticing her with underwear strewn with lace, frills and princesses.  Dan handled #2, taught him how to sword fight and called it good.  We didn't have weird accidents or months of little plastic potties.  It was show time from the start, big ol' toilet and little teeny person, but it worked. 

Now, its my turn with the wee one and OMG, I am striking out.  So we start off all nicey nice with little coy conversations about privacy, pretty Cinderella underwear and the promise of one pink jelly bean with every success in the potty.  The jaded eye of an almost 3 year old looks at me and I know she is thinking "Are you crazy? Who wants to leave the comfort of a warm wet diaper?  I don't ever have to wipe or take the time to sit down and go the bathroom"  But, we keep the charade up.  She smiles, I smile,  we use our princess voice and not one time does any pee ever make it into the toilet. 

I wake up with new resolve.  My kids never used paci's, they like their high chair, they go to bed early and they are going to be potty trained before 3!! We go commando. Ditch the diaper and its all cotton all the way, all day. Things go ok because Harp can hold it and feels free to do so until nap time when I put a diaper on her.  Then we make it the rest of the day until bedtime diaper.  Hmmm the little minx has my number, doesn't she?  We keep up the nicey nice, all pleasant and happy about not wearing diapers during the day anymore.  But, the kid needs to actually to use the toilet at some point, doesn't she?  

Day two, here we go.  We panty up and head out.  I hedge my bets, and give her a big sippy of juice, sure she will stay dry until we get to Julia's. She does!  We babysit the twins, partake in food and drink.  Hit the potty a few times. No accidents!  I am feeling good.  I knew she would get it!  We have a nice cup of water because she's been so stuffy and not feeling well, and I worry she will do something crazy like get dehydrated.  I actually make a Dr. appt on the off chance she has an ear infection.  We get McDonald's, take a safety pee and get ready to go.  I am feeling fine now!  We demure at the Dr.'s office.  Harp announces that she only wears big girl undies now.  NOT DIAPERS.  Unfortunately, for Harp, she has a double ear- ouch!  Its off to get Amox at the pharmacy.  I think I could be pushing my luck, but jeez, she needs this medicine!  We love our pharmacist.  She knows the whole family and takes some time to talk to me about Cody and my dad, yada yada yada. She says good bye to Harper and I.  She looks at me funny and asks how Harper is feeling.  Fine except the ear, I think.  So, I glance at the little and she has a pinched up prune face and she's stuck in place.  As we try to walk off, here comes a little moan, and then a bigger one.  Harper is now walking with her feet no less than 3 feet apart yelling "I pooped my pants!"  I have no idea where the bathroom is and head the wrong way, of course.  20 yards later, we head the other way. I am trying to talk nice, and keep her moving.  No way in hell am I picking that kid up with poop in her pants!  We have to demoralize ourselves in the public bathroom at the Albertson's. I want to really punch every person in there- the bathroom is not equipped for anything!  Are they ever?  NO!! 

Gag, wipe, cajole, flush, hand wash, redress, rewash hands, and get the heck out of there.  Its only 12:30pm- thank goodness the yuck is out of the way for the day.  Or, until 35 minutes before its time to get Daisy at parent pick up and we have another "accident" in the car.  It takes an act of God, to get that car seat out and cleaned and put back in by the time we need to leave.  I will spare you the details. Suffice it to say, it was gross. 

No more miss nice.  I don't care that the undies are cute with lace and princesses and castles. I realize that taking antibiotics isn't going to help this situation.  I slap the diaper back on her.  I tell her that mommy needs strength to deal with the other hooligans and can't be living like this.  I throw in plenty of melodrama for good measure.  I let her bask in the light of a diaper and Spongebob Squarepants pajamas for the rest of the day.  She's only young once, and who am I to care if warm wet diapers are a comfort.  I will build up my resolve.  It will happen one way or another.  Maybe.....  

Poopsie

Every morning the ladies play in their pen in our bedroom for about 2 hours. They watch tv, read books, run around, and get ready for the day in the pen. Every morning I encourage them to undress themselves, (after I unbutton and unzip their blanket sleepers) and put their clothes on. Some days are more successful than others.

Monday was very successful for them. It was getting close to the time we leave for swimming lessons and as Christian is passing by the pen I hear him tell the Ladies to get their clothes off. I at this point am half way down the stairs and continue on my way, knowing that Penelope has a full load of poop, but also noting that they will not be able to get their pajamas off. I get the sippy cups into the dishwasher, load up the diaper bag etc and head up the stairs after about 5 minutes. When I arrive in our bedroom both babies are naked, giggling and running around like crazy. Whoa I think, what is going on??? And, what is that smell?? I take a closer look, oh they are lathering each other up with poop. They dip into the diaper and then smear it everywhere. Now I am screaming, gagging and hoisting Penelope out of there and into the shower. Daphne is the next to go. I immediately turn this situation over to Christian. (I'm just positive he likes poop more than I do.) When I return to the pen I'm horrified to find that there is poop all over the carpet, blankets and clean swimming suits. No time to think about that mess, we must get to swimming. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Just in case any of you are wanting twins here is a little info on your chances of having twins unassisted.

• Age: The older you are, the higher your chances of having fraternal twins or higher-order multiples. A 2006 study found that women over 35 produce more follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) than younger women. Ironically, increasing levels of this hormone are a sign of failing ovaries and declining fertility. But FSH is also the hormone that causes an egg to ripen in preparation for ovulation each month, and women with extra FSH may release more than one egg in a single cycle. So while older women are statistically less likely to get pregnant, if they do get pregnant, they're more likely to have twins.

• Number of pregnancies: The more pregnancies you've had, the greater your chances of having twins.

• History of twins: Once you have a set of fraternal twins, you're twice as likely to have another set in future pregnancies.

• Heredity: If you're a twin or if twins run in your family, you're slightly more likely to have a set yourself. Women who are fraternal twins have a one in 60 chance of bearing twins.

There is a 1 in 250 chance of having identical twins -- identical twins do not run in families, it is totally random

There is a 1 in 32 chance of having fraternal twins-- this type can be passed by genetics from the mother’s side only

Katrina just asked me if we would look back at this time with rose colored glasses, and I think the answer is yes.

My day started at 5:15, taking the dog out, then Christian out the door at 5:45, and the Ladies up at 7. At 7:30 I noticed it was snowing as I was out in the garage trying to get Clementine inside. She sometimes gets really lost out there. I was calling her and calling her, shaking the treat can. I practically had my head out the dog door. In she came at her very slow pace, and as we are making our way up the stairs into the house I hear this screeching. What could that be??? Oh, there is Penellie, pink helmet on, baby bunny in hand, flying around the kitchen and yelping with joy. The Ladies are loose. Dear God!

Up the stairs we go and there is Daph applying some lotion in the middle of our bedroom. I scoop them both up and put them back in the pen. Naughty Ladies, if you are going to watch Barney you have to stay in the pen! Seriously we are in deep trouble over here, pens and gates are how we get through our day safely.

Today is the day I'm watching Harp and Finn while Katrina gets her haircut. Of course it is snowing, snowing, snowing and that quickly is cancelled and we are left with the thought of being stuck in the house all day. Somehow Katrina and Harper decide to head over and arrive without a glitch. Yeah! We are not alone. The little girls celebrate and run around with brooms, mops, grocery carts and the cozy coupes.

It is now 10:30, time to go pick up Finn. We decided to all go together as I have snow tires and it makes sense if something happens, like we slip off the road, we should all go together. It was a little slick getting to the school but not so bad. The kinders were having to walk down the hill to get on the bus. The logistics of a snowday and moving kindergartners is stressful and I am silently celebrating that I am not a teacher today. While we are at the school we figure might as well get Daisy too, who knows what the day will bring.

At 10:50 we have one more seatbelt available in the car and we are headed to McDonalds. We can't go home we might get stuck there. McDonalds is not really a first choice for us, but it has the playhut and we need to get our energies out. After a lot of strategic maneuvering all 3 little girls are in high chairs and enjoying a little lunch. Finn is making run after run to get ketchup and I'm pretty sure Daisy is wondering what she is doing there. Penelope and Daphne have not been loose in the playhut before and they are just wild eyed by the time they get out of their highchairs. Good thing the cousins are there to show them the ropes.

Now it is 11:45 and we are done. The music, which I hadn't noticed until Katrina pointed it out, is getting louder and more annoying by the minute and the children are getting so hyped they might explode. Time to load everyone into the car. Oh wait, no one wants to load up. Daisy holds Daphne down until I can grab her and then I have both babies and out we go. It is a total screamfest in the car, it take 2 adults to get the littlest two in their carseats and everyone is making noise. Harper is yelling, Daphne is crying and howling, Penellie is whimpering, Finn is imitating all 3 of them and Daisy is saying "when are they going to stop?" Quick someone get the dvd on!

This day has all of sudden become so long and it's only 12:30. My Ladies are tucked into bed and I'm headed there myself. Lucky for me I have two bassets who really like to nap and 2 cats who are probably already in my spot.

As I read over this entry I'm noting to myself that most of my thoughts come in bullets as opposed to paragraphs and that this is just the beginning of a long week without the husbands.

Off with their heads

Forget the poison apple or getting pricked with a pin. Those lousy stepsisters have nothing on Wilbur our basset hound.  These are not maladies that can be fixed with love's first kiss.  I don't think even super glue can help.  Next to the poor headless ladies are their mangled heads.  Do you think I am scarring my daughter for life?  Our littlest princess lover is only 2 after all.  She doesn't seem to mind.  Several days ago she simply grabbed her brothers bionicle and blamed him for the losses.  

She plays with her headless friends just as much as those with beautiful faces.  She told me "Cinderella has no head, but I love her mom".  She also told me recently that "I love my new vaporizer mom. "  Simple pleasures, I guess.  

Last night was our second dance class.  It went as to be expected.  The twins take over the class, and Harper gets right into it with her cousins.  I am quite sure that the other women in the class can't stand our kids.  Daphne ran around that room yelling "woof woof" and I think Penelope latched onto "yee haw" for a while after we galloped.  Harper thinks dance class is only for spinning.  She's practically green by the end of class from all of the turning.   They still have quite a way to go until they make it out of SE.  

On a side note, I would like to mention not posting here in a timely way. It seems whenever I want to put up a little picture with a note, I can't.  I do not understand why the cord that connects my camera to the computer is not the same color as the camera?  How the hell am I supposed to find it every time in a sea of other cords, earbuds and phone chargers? I can't remember I am looking for  a white cord until I am 10 minutes into it.  I get pissed each and every time. I can't leave it connected to the back of the computer or my kids would tie it in 100 knots.  They have an obsession with taking long strings, and cords and making impossible knots.  Don't tell me to clean the drawer- it is.  Honestly.  

Twirl

Two weeks ago I mentioned a mommy and me dance class to Julia.  I thought her girls would love it.  They really know how to tear up a dance floor, those two.  Little did I know that I would be prodded to bring Harper.  #3 taking a class of any kind had never really crossed my radar.  Too busy with #1 and #2  I guess.  I had no interest really, in another dance class.  I already had to quit the creative movement class I had been teaching due to schedule conflict.  Why would I want to go to one and be taught?  Well, its Harper being taught but you get my drift.  I told Julia no and then Pru slathered on some pressure.  Something about kids deserving chances in life etc.  I thought that was stretching it.  Harper is not even 3 yet.  Her grandmother intimates I keep her locked in a closet with no outside stimuli.  Anyone reading this blog probably knows something about Julia and Pru.  When they want something, they are relentless. It was my own fault for mentioning it.  So, dance class it is, for all 3 girls. 

After signing up for class, came wardrobe.  Julia was a house of fire on this.  I admit, I was kind of ready to delve in myself.  Once the decision was made, it was time to get the girls outfitted.  I hold some very traditional ideas regarding dancewear.  Having started dance when I was just a wee one, I was always always impressed with the instructors and dancers who wore the "uniform".  It spoke volumes to me.  Black leo, pink tights, black skirt and ballet shoes perfectly molded to their beautiful arched feet.  Of course, there were variations on the theme. Leg warmers added for actual function vs. form, different styles of leotards, maybe an errant pair of sweatpants. However, NEVER NEVER was there much derivation in color.  My own mother always encouraged a splash of raspberry tights, electric blue shiny lycra unitard or maybe a sparkly leotard to augment my dance wardrobe.  When I started dancing in college, that changed!  I put on my uniform and got to work. 

When Julia asked me about dance clothes I gave her a checklist.  She followed it dutifully. No lame Target crap.  She skipped the silly princess leotard and the ballet slippers that looked more like cardboard on feet than an actual ballet slipper.  The ladies came to class bedecked in black leos with sweet as can be black tulle skirts, ballet pink tights and lovely form fitting ballet slippers.  Their laces were hanging out but that was easily remedied.  Who was that little girl next to them?  The one in the chalk blue princess leotard, white (!) tights and cardboard dance slippers.  Holy crap, that was Harper!! And she looked darling, I must say.  Harper let me know when we visited Target earlier in the week, that there would be no black and pink and certainly nothing without silk screening on it.  I hemmed and hawed, I cringed, closed my eyes and bought the stuff.  It was perfect.  

Seeing those 3 little girls in an old school dance studio in SE Portland would warm anyone's heart.  No matter what they were wearing, it was so fun.  They pranced, they danced, they rolled and they marched.  Harper wanted to be nervous, but her compassionate aunt swooped right in, grabbed her small hand and danced away with her until she was comfortable. Once she got her footing, she tiptoed to her hearts delight.  She twirled with great enthusiasm.  Daphne followed the rules.  She did exactly what the instructor asked of her with a little help from grandma Jean. When the Barney songs started, Daph was in 7th heaven.  A happy smile spread across her face.  Penelope, well, she was Penelope. She took that class on full throttle.  She didn't just march, she really marched.  She threw her whole body into it.  

By the end of the class, the little girls were running the tumbling mat.  I expected Penelope, the yard boss, to start taking money from the other little girls.  There wasn't really going to be any standing in line or waiting for turns  with the twins.  Certainly, not from being naughty.  Far from it..... they were just loving the experience of dance class.  They wanted more more more.  I think Harper would have stayed and flounced for another hour as well.  

When it was over, and time to leave, I knew the girls would be happy to be back next week.  Its a one  hour roundtrip commute to a dingy dance studio for a 1/2 hour class.  Its worth it though.  It was fun to see, no matter how small the step, that the littles are growing up. Sooner than I think, it won't be mommy and me anymore.  That's a sad thought! So, for the time being I will just enjoy the heck out of our cousins and our funny little class.

 

 

Cookies

My friend Abby is always making cookies with her 3 girls and she posts such lovely pictures of the cookies, the girls and the good time they had. We are in a bit of a lockdown situation over here as our Bailey is not feeling so hot and I just can't stand to be away from him... so, I thought to myself (as the ladies were standing on the back of the chair taking the leaves off the tree on wall) we need a COP and I need something to blog about this is going to be so perfect... Ladies let's make some cookies. They were so excited. They love cookies.

After last weeks episode with Katrina and the chairs I purchased this step stool thing called a learning tower. It brings the Ladies to counter level while keeping them contained. And let me tell you it worked great with the cookie making. The babies were easily able to handle the bowls, spatulas, measuring cups and spoons.

Our first step in the cookie making process was to measure out the 2 1/4 cups of flour, we added the tsp of baking soda next, and then the phone rang. It was the vet calling so I had to answer it. While I was talking to the nice lady on the phone Penelope added a little more baking soda to the bowl and Daphne moved half the flour to another bowl and by the time I had Bailey's appt scheduled I wasn't quite sure if we had the first 2 ingredients quite right because there was so much flour on the counter. As I stood there dialing my mom to see if she could watch the Ladies tomorrow I realized that we didn't actually need to make cookies because flour is so much fun!

I have a feeling Christian would not have thought the flour situation was very fun, but it's all cleaned up now. Also, if you are wondering it kept them busy for 45 min, they didn't fight over the cooking tools, I believe we engaged all 5 senses, and it took 7 minutes to clean up.

Terror Abounds

I think we can all see that THIS is not supposed to be happening!!  Especially on my watch. These little girls will steal your heart but they are such naughty little monkeys.  It was my morning to watch the twinnies for 1 hour while Julia was off volunteering.  I think I failed miserably. While it looks a little dangerous, rest assured, as soon as I got the photo I jumped into action.  However, I didn't make it to Penelope before she looked directly at me while sweeping every single item off of the desk.  There were a lot of things on there but I was most worried about the Guccis.  A broken pair would simply not do.  Thankfully, they survived the fall unscathed.  

I was at a total loss to discipline the little dumplings.  I mean, these girls are really cute......I don't know how the hell their parents take care of them 24/7 . I'm pretty sure there must be some daily drinking going on.  Its actually pretty fun to watch them get into mayhem and know that I don't really have to do anything about it except keep them safe. That is their parents job!   My 3 have caused problems alright but this doubling up on craziness is too much for this aunt to handle. I plopped them into the high chair in no time and thats where we spent the rest of our morning.  

Now, as I write, my two wee ones are yelling - no shrieking - over who gets to hold the bowl full of cheetos I gave them.  Honestly,  its amazing that my kids don't have migraines every single night, secondary to yelling. I am sure with any modicum of luck, there will be cheesy fingerprints all over the craft room and ground in crumbs clinging to the carpet. I do love cheetos myself so I better get in there and see if I can score some before they eat them all.